SICK ASS of the Week: "Put Your F*&#ING DOG on a F*&#ING LEASH!" by Nicole

That's right. My ass is now the SICK ASS of the week thanks to a big, scary, asshole dog who attacked me on my walk home from the gym.

Just in case you were wondering, I did legs today.

WTF??!!!!

Then people get pissed at me when I say I don't like dogs. Well excuse me, but when you get attacked by a cat or a bunny rabbit while you're listening to YOUR iPod...THEN we'll talk.

Til then, I'm sticking to my buns....GUNS.

Ugh. I hates it.

Let's Do This: Workout at Home DVDs

Just because the beach season is coming to a close, doesn't mean Loves It or Hates It plans on packing on the poundage for winter.  After all, we did skip the Super Bowl two years ago to go to Malibu.  It was 85 degrees in early February.  Thanks, you guys!

Our roommate picked up this treasure of a workout tape, and we rocked out the 20 minute core workout this morning.  It was actually very difficult, and the tension felt in our abdominal muscles was almost as palpable as the tension between Jackie and former lesbian fling Rebecca, who also appears in the video.  For those of you who don't watch the Bravo show Workout, you are really missing out.

Jackie looks amazing as do her hot ass trainers, and they give you a great ab workout while showing you ways to dial up the difficult or dial it down like the weak ass Renessa who modified every exercise.

There are also upper body and lower body portions to the DVD, totaling 60 minutes of fitness heaven.  Pick up a copy and say goodbye to that doughnut you ate from Gelson's yesterday.

HOT ASS of the week: "Going out on Mondays" by Tregg

Because going out on weekends is so desperate.

Unfortunately, we didn't run into that little vixen last night, but we did see tranny extraordinaire Candis Cayne perform at The Abbey as we left the comforts of our home to cause some trouble on the first night of the week.

After we watched another scintillating episode of Gossip Girl, Loves It or Hates It, with friends in tow, hit the streets for some innocent fun.

A friend of ours was also hosting a drag night at Here Bar, so how could we resist checking that out?

However, we must say we saw tons of violators of our previously posted ban on plaid, but we're hoping the word will spread sooner than later.  Even worse, we saw plaid shorts.  At the bar.  Where do these people think they are?  I didn't know you could drink $12 martinis in $12 worth of plaid shorts.

The next time you all are feeling like the weekend was too short or that you're in the mood to come into work with bloodshot eyes and reeking of an Effen Vodka bar, put on your drinking shoes and give Mondays a taste of Friday night glory.

"I bet in high school, everybody made somebody's life hell. "

Do you ever get the feeling you talk about people WAY more than they talk about you?

We talk a lot of trash.  We also talk a lot of...untrash?  Nice things?  Whatever.  Either way, good or bad, we wonder if people we talk about ever talk about us.

We think we're interesting enough, and hopefully present enough in the community.  But is it possible we are more aware of our surroundings, or just bigger bitches, where we comment on other people's lives while they give no second opinion to ours.

For example, if you see pictures on facebook of someone you went to high school with, you may think, "Wow, he/she looks really good" or "I am so not jealous that she has two kids and lives in Cleveland."  Hopefully, accompanying these thoughts are reciprocated, either similarly or contrarily, thoughts from the party whom you've discussed.  Because surely they give enough of a shit about us to at least say our new shirt looked nice in those pics at the bar from last weekend or that the weight we recently shed and the bangs we grew are hot.

Are we right?

We'd love to know your thoughts, but in the meantime do us this favor:  Please continue to analyze, observe, question, compliment, and bash those around you.  Even if you don't know them that well or talk to them that often.  We're willing to bet they have discussed you ad naus and would take comfort in knowing you are a gossiping little shit just like they are.

Retraction: The Exception to Plaid

We made a mistake.

Feel free to take your Burberry trench coat out of the trash can.  This plaid is acceptable.  

However, it should still be used in moderation, as in the underside of your umbrella, or a peek of plaid on the collar of your polo shirt.

Still throw out your solid plaid jacket, but you can keep your plaid socks.

And if you spray Burberry Brit anywhere near us, you can stick it anywhere.  Talk. To. Us.

Time to Retire: Plaid

We are taking a stand.  Admit it, you're guilty.

Plaid is hereby over.  Shirts, skirts, it's over.  Unless you want to look like a grungy lesbian, we think it's best that you stick to more flattering patterns like stripes, argyle, and even paisley.  

We've noticed stores like the Gap bringing the lumberjack look back for Fall 2008.  Now our loyal readers already know how we feel about Gap, but let's be more specific and talk plaid.  If you are a lumberjack, not that there's anything wrong with that, we will let you embrace flannel and all of the picnic table cloth goodness that emblazons flannel.  

But if you are going drinking, to lunch, or the movies, try not to look like a working class citizen.  We know you can clean up better than that.

And don't worry, we'll provide a list of what to do along with this rant of what not to do.

It's because we loves you.

It's Britney, bitch

The day has arrived.

We patiently, well maybe not so patiently, waited for the release of Britney Spears' new single "Womanizer" on Monday, only to learn that it was pushed back for at least a week.

::Sigh::

Well, we have faithfully been checking MTV.com every day hoping for some news, and today it was announced that New York Radio Station Z100 premiered the song today.

Let's do this!

Go to Britney.com for the exclusive launch of the new single.

We can't wait to be tearing it up tonight at Popstarz to this song.

HOT ASS of the week: "Tuscani Pasta from Pizza Hut" by Tregg

I know, I know.  Why, even after beach season ended, am I endorsing this carb-infested caloric shit show?

It is damn good people.  And so budget-conscious.

I picked up this tasty morsel, or rather, smorgasbord, Tuesday night for dinner.  After countless commercials, I had to try it.  It says it serves a family of four and comes with 5 bread sticks.  I don't know who is supposed to get that fifth bread stick, but since I bought it for myself, thank you very much for the extra piece.

This dish has been feeding me for days, and it reheats very well.  So if you've budgeted some calories in your diet for what, I'm sure, is just a tragedy to any waistline, order up!

I'm doing 400 crunches a day to combat its effects.  Lord help me.

This Song is Trash: "Stay With Me - Ironik"

We're not totally sure that this is the artist we're talking about, but it's the first thing Google Image pulled up.

Have you guys heard this song?  It starts off with a digitized baby-esque voice, saying "Brothers and sisters...it will guide you through..." yadda yadda.  We don't even have the respect for this song to look up the lyrics.  

We retired the baby voice after we retired "Try Again" by Aaliyah.  R.I.P.

We're not sure why artists who are better suited for hip-hop and rap try to do inspirational songs and even less sure why they use hideous guest singers to do the chorus.

Please, do yourself a favor and don't listen to this song.  Unfortunately, it plays on our iTunes radio at work.  We are fervently writing a letter to 1.FM as we speak.

Where for art thou? - Tostitos Gold Tortilla Chips

We love tortilla chips.  With salsa, with guac, with basically anything.  Please don't mention how we shovel salsa into our mouths to clean out the jar.  We just really love chips and condiments.

But whatever happened to our favorite chip, the Tostitos Gold?  For those who are unfamiliar, they were really thick chips intended to sustain a hearty dip.  Talk to us.

We couldn't even find a picture of the bag on Google Images.  What we did find was the Bite-Size version which is trash.  We've had them, and they don't taste as good.  And we're no food critic, but how does making a chip thicker to hold a big dollop of guac and then miniaturize it make sense?

Our hearts sadden with the extinction of these chips.  However, we suppose you can just file this under lost and forgotten joys in our life such as Jell-O pudding pops, Squeez-It juice drinks, and our virginity.

Candle-light vigil to be held tonight after 90210.

Hates It: New City = New Stylist

It took us FOREVS to find a decent stylist in LA. Try after try, (salon after salon) without fail, we'd end up walking out unhappy and making a bee line to the nearest hat shop.

More often than not, the sitch played out like this:

::Hand stylist picture of the hair we want::

::Stylist looks at picture::

::Stylist looks at us::

::Looks at picture::

::Looks at us::

::Picture::

::Us::

::Picture::

::Us::

Stylist: "Your hair's NEVER gonna look like this."

Well, great. Who do we make the $150 check out to again?

Finally finally! After constant CitySearching and stopping people in the street (thanks, you guys!), we have found our stylist. He's quick, innovative, and just the right amount of gay. Flitty, but not like he's trying to be flitty, you know? Unfortch, he's also in LA ...and now we're not.

Hates it!

Guess we're growing our bangs out, after all. We'll keep you bitches posted.

"Little People Fucking Loves It" - by Tregg

I know I'm going to hell.  See you all there.

But over the weekend I attracted the attention of one particularly fun bar patron.  Once at Avalon and once at Fiesta.  Some of you may have noticed him.

He is a spunky and precocious little person.  Unfortunately, I don't know his name because it was loud at Avalon when we met, and I had to bend over significantly to hear him.

The introduction went kind of like this:

::feels grab on leg, and then on ass::

::looks around to find culprint, sees no one::

::gets grabbed again, this time looks down and sees said little person grabbing my ass and leg::

The next night, I was wearing a shirt that said "I get no kick from cocaine," and I saw him again.  The encounter went something like this:

Little person:  "I bet you get a kick from cocaine, hottie!"

Me:  "Oh, I get my kicks, but not from cocaine."

Little person:  "You want some?  I can hook it up, but you'd have to snort it off my cock!"

Me:  "Can I get another drink?!?!  Someone...??"

Needless to say it was a fun weekend, and I look forward to seeing his charming, vivacious self soon.

Anyone have any fun stories with him?  

HATES IT: Cock-Teasing with Alcohol

For the record, you do not owe us anything.  But if you want to buy us a drink, do it.

Twice now, last night most recently, our sparkling personalities have attracted individuals to us enough to offer to buy us a round of alcohol.  This is always amazingly appreciated and a sincere gesture.  But these two times people put an offer on the table and then reneged on it so fast our heads spun.

Instance number one:  We were at Avalon for the LA Weekly Awards, and this middle-aged woman who was not pulling off the punk-themed evening very well approached us for a place to sit.  We didn't really have a ton of room, and we sort of hate strangers, but we slid down on our bench to let them sit.  Otherwise they would have been a fire hazard and a real impediment for our bee-line departures to the bar.  Eventually, we warmed up to the hot mess that she was, and naturally she found us charming and offered to buy us a round.  Fast forward 10 minutes and she and her husband left their seats, and Avalon, without buying us a thing.

Instance number two:  We were at a bar last night and paid an older gentleman some obviously much required attention as he gabbed us and others' ears off about God knows what.  Again, we hate strangers.  But he offered to buy us a drink, which was very nice.  Politely, when he ordered, we pulled out some money in a gesture to say he didn't have to buy them, but knowing that the offer was on the table.  He, without a second thought, took our money and we paid for half of the round which included himself and another friend.  Fine.  It wasn't that expensive, but we were cutting ourselves off at this point.  Old guy totally hoodwinked us!

To make a long story short, too late, be good on your word.  We'd never suggest buying you something and then pulling the offer off the table.  We might do it with sex, but never with booze.  Booze is for keeps.  That game is serious.

LOVES IT: Korto on Proj Run

First of all, to recap:  Joe's outfit last night was trash.  The shirt was kind of cool, but the suit made that poor girl look like a beached whale.  A poorly dressed beached whale, at that.  

Jerell, despite his bony, sick ass chest that makes him look more malnourished than Keira Knightley, had a pretty bad ass outfit.  That pseudo-lesbian client of his somehow liked the "androgynous" quality the dress had, even though that dress was probably the most feminine dress we've ever seen.  But I guess you throw a cool Mr. Roger's sweater over it and it butched right up.

But the real reason behind this post is the amazing, fashionable, baby mama, trash talking, Ohio native Korto Momolu.  We're still not sure why no one pronounces the "R" in her name, but she is a riot.  She basically is just as bitchy as that bitch Terri, but no one seems to mind because she's prettier and isn't a one-trick pony like Terri "I Love Designing Pants" Stevens.

Bring the pain, Korto!  We loves it.

SICK ASS of the Week: "I wish I hated The Rachel Zoe Project" by Nicole

This show is HOT ASS in a truly SICK ASS way!

Each week, we join Rachel Zoe (46, but says she's 36) for a glimpse into her hot mess of a life in fashion. Accompanied by her bitch-ass assistant Taylor, newbie (and gayest man on the planet) Brad, and husband (and second gayest man on the planet) Rodger, Zoe finds new and exciting ways to make vests out of dead animals, wear her weight in gold bangle bracelets, and work the phrase "killing it" into every other sentence.

You should at least tune in for the racks and racks of designer clothes.

We tune in for Brad's glasses, Taylor's haircut, and to count the laughs. Lines, that is.

Get thee to a derm, Rach - and nobody believes you're in you're thirties. Nice try, though.

We'll be watching again this week...

Sick ASS.

HOT ASS of the week: "Bacardi and Diet" by Tregg

If there's one thing I love, it's getting drunk for free.

But if I can't get drunk for free, I want to get drunk off of as few calories as possible.  After all, what's a better compliment to my Hilary Duff diet of grilled chicken and broccoli?

Enter the Bacardi Rum and Diet Coke beverage of champions.  Notice I did not say Bacardi and Diet Cola.  Pepsi and anything less is trash.  Drink Coca-Cola.  However, I don't usually drink any soda of any kind, but splash some alcohol in it and you can fucking talk to me.

So raise your glasses this week to a guilt-free indulgence.  If you see me out and about, say hey, and check my hand for a Bacardi and Diet.

HATES IT: Lazy Parking Spot Evacuees

Parking is at a premium in Los Angeles.  If you are one of the lucky few who go to heavily populated areas in town and find a parking spot, consider yourself lucky.

However, most people end up scouring side streets and areas that have free parking until they see a sign from the heavens:  reverse lights.

When people get into a car and throw on their reverse lights it makes us moist.  We found a parking spot!  But when said people take 15 minutes to vacate their parking spot, we fucking hates it.  If you get in your car, what is taking you so long to leave?  Don't you see the congested traffic you are causing?  Don't you want to relinquish your parking spot to us?

Help a brother and a sister out and move your ass.  We have some drinking to do.

Thanks, you guys! Here's the bill.

We have money on the brain lately.  

We just set up our 12 month CD at WaMu for a bitchin' 5% APY, and we're feeling good.  But apparently not everyone is feeling so good.

Our boss was recently invited to a wedding by some old friends who have been married before.  The wedding invite very explicitly states the casual affair that they are throwing, and are asking for people to bring food for the reception and if they would like, in lieu of a gift, supply money for the couple's honeymoon fund.

We suppose you can conduct your wedding however you like, but if you can't afford to get married, throw a party, and vacation, then don't.  Walk your asses down to the municipal court, get married, and have your friends meet you at Barney's Beanery for a beer.  Don't worry, someone will buy you a round.

Furthermore, CNN.com is reporting that some people are a little less forthright when it comes to the financial details of their celebrations, leaving their guests with the bill.  

Be leery of invites you receive, because you might be ending the evening with more than a high blood-alcohol content, a stranger who will blow you, or 3 phone numbers you don't plan on calling.

HATES IT: Inflation

You know what really pisses us off?  Rising prices!

For example, as we left the gym Wednesday night, we begrudgingly gout out 2 dollars and our validated ticket from the 24 Hour Fitness at the Arc Light and proceeded to pay the $1.50 parking fee.  The attendant opens the gate, but he fails to give us any change.

We go, "Where's the change?"  He doesn't say anything, but taps the glass of his cubicle, to which we reply, "What does that mean?"

"It's $2."  Well, it wasn't $2 yesterday, when we did our weight training.

Apparently they just raised the prices today.  Now we have to spend $2 to park every time we work out.  Now, in a perfect and overly sexy world, if we worked out every day, it would cost us $60, and sometimes $62, but also sometimes $56 in February-- oh but $58 in a leap year-- to work out.  That is in addition to our monthly membership.  This is outrageous.

If 24 Hour Fitness and their parking facility can implement such an egregious price hike, what's next?  Food?  Housing prices?  Gas?

God forbid.

SICK ASS of the Week: "Twenty-seven is almost thirty, which is almost late twenties" by Nicole

Does this mean I can't buy cheap bead necklaces at Forever 21 anymore? Sick ASS!

Getting older can ride me. If one more person tells me the best time of my life is from 30-40 I'm gonna shoot myself in the face.

Here's what getting older means to me, at 27:
1) Slower metabolism
2) Wrinkles
3) Talbots

Wow. Twenty-sevs.

It's Countdown-to-Thirty time, people. Pretty soon I'll be having a baked potato with every meal and eating breakfast at 4:30 in the morning.

I can see the blogs now: "Loves it: FIBER!" "Hates it: MediCare."

SICK ASS of the Week: "Cottage got T.P.d again...goddamn teenagers!" by Nicole.

Actch, make that "Mansion got T.P.d again..." I plan to be married to LaBoeuf by then.

Thanks, you guys!!!

Whoa. ...Stood up too fast.

Hates it.

Wut's the deel with badd grammer?

We understand the internet has provided our lives with several short-cuts and simplifications that life would not contain.  However, even in an age of text messaging and instant messaging, is it so necessarily for the basic rules of grammar and spelling to be flagrantly ignored?

We've noticed a recent trend with Myspace and Facebook users.  For some reason, the trend to spell words improperly has arisen, and it's not even in a way that makes sense.

For example, someone on Tregg's friend list spelled the word "pic" which is already a bastardization of the word picture with two C's.  That's right, "picc."  We can't, for the life of us, understand this lackadaisical disregard for the English Language.

We use "brb" and even some sho wo gems like probs or maybs, but why add an extra letter to the end of a word?  Use your multi-thousand dollar collegiate educations and buck the ignorant trend of sounding like a Valley Girl on online communique.

Word power.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!! - by Tregg

Happy birthday to our very own Nicole!

Sorry for the sick ass graphic, but how funny is that?

Have a great day and an excellent year from myself and all the readers of Loves It or Hates It!

Everyone's Guilty of It, But We Hates It

Have you ever been messaged by someone for the first time in a really long time and it was completely random?  Of course you have.  And chances are there was a reason you don't talk to that person anymore.  And chances are you are ok with that.

Then come the two words that we hate to hear the most from people.

"Hey, stranger."

When we hear this, it is always some an old friend, an ex, or some hook up that we can't seem to shake.  Whatever the case, we can see through this very thinly veiled attempt to brush away the awkwardness that has ensued since our last communique.  

Calling us "stranger" isn't particularly funny, but it can be filed under those little catch phrases that people use in case of emergency situations where humor is escaping them but to not be funny would be even worse than the unbearable silence that would otherwise result in this chance encounter.  For example, when you explain a scenario to someone and they don't know how to comment or console you, they will say "Well, you'll have that."

What does that mean?  It makes us cringe.

"Hey, stranger" is ironic because we'd most likely enjoy it if you were a stranger to us, or otherwise we'd be txt'ing you non-stop like those in our Top Friends on myspace.

If you're going to bug us, at least have a snappy opener.

HOT ASS of the week: "Origins Swept Away Gentle Slougher" by Tregg

I feel no shame.  This face doesn't make itself, it requires a little maintenance.

For some reason, Los Angeles in the fall makes my skin feel like sandpaper.  Where do I turn?  Origins for sure.  Ever since my heinous high school acne phase, I've been using this stuff to rid me of dry, dead skin and hopefully keep crow's feet at bay well into my 30s.

I've had my bottle for literally 10 years, so I'm not sure if you can still buy this stuff, but it works wonders if you can find it.  Gets the dead skin off and makes your skin feel great after.  Except I am still finding little exfoliating beads in my nose from using it this morning.  Small side effect for a pleasant result.

The Thunder from Down Under...and Canada

Loves It or Hates It is proud to announce that we have gone global!

Our little blog has been visited by the great continent of Australia and the somewhat less great, but still noteworthy, country of Canada.  No offense.  We had a blast in Lemington, Ontario as children.

Don't worry, we aren't subscribes to the Patriot Act and don't know who specifically visited from these countries, but data from Google Analytics confirms our site has been visited abroad.

So bust out your didgeridoo's and your Coors Light and welcome Australia and Canada to Loves It or Hates it!

DVR, why do you hate us so?

Mondays are really stressing us out.

No, not the fact that it's the end of the weekend, and we're fat and hungover.  There is way too much good television for our poor, dual-tuner DVR to handle.

For example, at 8:00pm on The CW, Gossip Girl is on.  Clearly, this show has occupied a prominent position in our Series Record folder for a year.  Nothing is going to change that.

However, we also fell in love with Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  Don't ask us why, but it might have had something to do with Thomas Dekker or Brian Austin Green.  

To make matters worse, The Big Bang Theory got us laughing our asses off.  As unluck would have it, all of these shows are on at 8:00.  We can only record 2 at one time.

This week we got a break, since The Big Bang Theory has not premiered yet, but that did not stop our DVR from not recording Terminator.  Why, oh why?

To make matters worse, it cut off the crucial last few minutes of Gossip Girl, even though we had our TV set to The CW in addition to recording it.

Say it with me now, HATES IT!

Hey Look!

We didn't know Wilma Flintsone had a clothing line!

Brit - the body looks bangin...now go donate that dress to Goodwill and get back in the stude.

The Reinvention of Christina Aguilera

For the recs, we like Christina Aguilera.  But we are beginning to think she thinks she's Madonna.  Her Stripped album was great.  As far as we know, it didn't really have a "theme."  

Back to Basics was also pretty good, but it decidedly did have a theme.  Now Christina's new theme is "The Future."  Besides that being the lamest theme ever, and painfully obvious since her last album was retro, we don't get it.  Why the need to reinvent yourself?  

You are not Madonna.  Just make music.  It's not a college frat party.  It doesn't need a theme.

Onto her performance at the VMAs.  We're sad to say that we like the song.  The Genie in a Bottle futuristic remix was a little odd, but Keeps Getting Better is a decent jam.  However, even though she did just have a baby, Christina needs to Agui-let go of the Poptarts.  She was def busting out of that cat suit.  We remember that catsuit:

The Susan Lucci of the VMA's

So, it was her worst video ever, but Britney finally ended her streak of leaving the VMA's empty-handed.

Yeah, we're pretty sure that doesn't matter either, but at least she won the award.  And she looked hot doing it.

Get it, girl.

LOVES IT: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Do yourself a favor and go see this movie.

We saw it last night and really liked everything about it.  Not only is it the first time we've seen Penelope Cruz in a movie and didn't hate her, it was well written, emotionally aching, sexy, and complete.

We don't want to say too much to give away any of the plot, but just trust us.  Good flick.

Too bad Woody Allen didn't make an appearance.  It would have made no sense and been brilliant.

HATES IT: Tennis Shoes Outside the Gym

We cannot stress this enough.

Why do people wear tennis shoes when they aren't engaging in athletic activity?  Don't tell me they are comfortable.  We have shoes that are perfectly comfortable that don't have the Nike Swoosh on the side.  They are by Diesel and they are hot ass.

Wear your tennis shoes:  at the gym, playing basketball, running, etc.

Do not wear your tennis shoes:  to the mall, at the grocery store, walking around the city.

Buy some Sketchers and call it a day.  You will look 100 times better.

FUCKING TALK TO US

Britney's Back!

We'll see you at the VMA's, bitches!!

What's in a name? - by Tregg

I'll tell you what's in a name.  Two mother fuckin' consonants at the end!  

Trig Paxon Van Palin?  I've always wanted my name to make headlines, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  At least it's different enough.

I know Tregg is weird, but Trig?  What a bullshit name.

Make our day. Or at least be funny.

The message of this post can definitely extend beyond what we're going to talk about, but the jump off is Facebook.  More specifically Facebook photo albums.

Why do people update old photo albums with new pictures?  Clearly, they weren't taken at the same time, so why not leave the old album alone and start a new album?

Don't bore us with pictures of just you that you crop all your friends out and name the album "Just me" or worse, your full name.  You can do that for your profile pic, but why do we want to see an album of pics where you look like you're having fun but you cropped out the fun?

Don't bore us with boring album titles.  "Random" or "Thursday" are not funny.  Post pictures up of good times so people you don't like can see how fun you and your friends are.  If you go out on the weekend, hopefully you had enough fun to title the night and the photo album.  Random doesn't cut it.

That's how we feel today.  Just don't bore us.  We're funny.  Or at least we try to be.

SICK ASS of the Week: Sales Tax on Clothing and Shoes" by Nicole

8.25% can ride me.

I was raised in Rhode Island, where thanks to our founding fathers...legislature...whomever (thanks, you guys) clothing and shoes are considered a NECESSITY and are not taxed.

And that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I LIKE it!

What is the deal, man? The first time I ever bought a piece of clothing in LA I nearly shat myself. Who are these people who think that clothing is a luxury and why don't they have an accident?

I will inevitably (due to horrfyingly bad luck and an inability to budget or keep records of anything) be audited one day, and here's how I see that sitch going down:

Auditor: "Well, Mrs LaBoeuf (what?? it's MY fantasy. shut up.) it seems that you owe the government hummuna-hummuna amount of dollars and you have no assets but a closet full of clothes and shoes. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Nicole: "...I needed those."

::blackout::

...no, it's not a stage play, the blackout is my power getting shut off.

::CURTAIN::

To Gap or Not to Gap

We can't decide if we loves or hates The Gap.

Sometimes it is all we can do to not max out our store credit card in there, and other times you could not pay us to take home the bastard child of Old Navy and Banana Republic clothes that they sell in there.

Is it casual?  Is it dressy?  Is it a mechanic jumpsuit or khaki pants?  Why can't The Gap be more consistent.

Currently, The Gap is having a sale, and Loves It or Hates It snapped up some amazing finds in downtown Seattle, but we're not holding our breath for it to last.  Get it while it's hot people, because soon you may be falling into The Crap.

HOT ASS of the week: "The Fashion of Gossip Girl's Season Premiere" by Tregg

Sure, no one could really pull of that suit, and those shoes Leighton is wearing don't necessarily match.  But we think the whole thing is brillz.

This show is too much too handle, and the clothes are outrageous.  We are planning a white party as we speak so we can rock cream, bone, white, and eggshell all at the same time and not have anyone criticize it.

Loves It or Hates It? 90210 The New Class

We are fully aware that this post isn't going to earn us a lot of friends, but we didn't hate the new 90210.

Granted, we were around for the original and watched it religiously.  Even though we were in 2nd grade, and it was technically past our bedtime, we loved it.  This one had its moments, and we will definitely be tuning into next week's episode to see how it develops.

It is by no means Gossip Girl.  We would not defame the sacredness that is that show.  It is our desktop wallpaper as well as the key to our hearts.  However, there is something to be said for the drunk grandmother, the smart/bitchy/rich/nice-ish Naomi, the gorgeous way the show films Los Angeles, and reunion of Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh.  The latter babysat for the former, and we love how that is totally not feasible but SO just happened.

To recap:

Loves it

AnnaLynne McCord

Jessica Walters as the scotch-wielding grandma

Rob Estes and his ability to look hot in one scene and like a completely different, less hot person in the next scene.

Hates it

Dustin Milligan is supposed to be the heartthrob?

Lori Laughlin

That random goth girl who scared the shit out of us when she popped up from behind Naomi's locker.

Don't hate us, but we don't completely hates it.

HATES IT: Ultra-Casual Airplane Attire

Have you ever ridden on a plane?  We have.  We've even been on a plane for 20 hours.  How uncomfortable is it, really?

People that wear sweat pants on planes drive us crazy!  Is it that uncomfortable that you have to wear your pajamas in public when you fly?  We're pretty sure we can pull over wearing jeans and a t-shirt, be comfortable when we fly, and not looks like derelicts in the airport.

"Oh, I have to be comfortable to sleep on the plane."  How long are you really flying for that you can't be in regular clothes?  

Tip:  trade in your Saucony tennis shoes for some Diesel sneakers, and your velour track pants for some William Rast jeans and call it a day.  That way you at least have some credibility when you pass on the Cinnabon you see so many plump people in Sponge Bob pajama pants devouring.