Friday, September 19, 2008

HATES IT: Cock-Teasing with Alcohol

For the record, you do not owe us anything.  But if you want to buy us a drink, do it.

Twice now, last night most recently, our sparkling personalities have attracted individuals to us enough to offer to buy us a round of alcohol.  This is always amazingly appreciated and a sincere gesture.  But these two times people put an offer on the table and then reneged on it so fast our heads spun.

Instance number one:  We were at Avalon for the LA Weekly Awards, and this middle-aged woman who was not pulling off the punk-themed evening very well approached us for a place to sit.  We didn't really have a ton of room, and we sort of hate strangers, but we slid down on our bench to let them sit.  Otherwise they would have been a fire hazard and a real impediment for our bee-line departures to the bar.  Eventually, we warmed up to the hot mess that she was, and naturally she found us charming and offered to buy us a round.  Fast forward 10 minutes and she and her husband left their seats, and Avalon, without buying us a thing.

Instance number two:  We were at a bar last night and paid an older gentleman some obviously much required attention as he gabbed us and others' ears off about God knows what.  Again, we hate strangers.  But he offered to buy us a drink, which was very nice.  Politely, when he ordered, we pulled out some money in a gesture to say he didn't have to buy them, but knowing that the offer was on the table.  He, without a second thought, took our money and we paid for half of the round which included himself and another friend.  Fine.  It wasn't that expensive, but we were cutting ourselves off at this point.  Old guy totally hoodwinked us!

To make a long story short, too late, be good on your word.  We'd never suggest buying you something and then pulling the offer off the table.  We might do it with sex, but never with booze.  Booze is for keeps.  That game is serious.

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