Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This Video is Trash: "Christina Aguilera - Keeps Gettin' Better"

Christina Aguilera - New Music - More Music Videos

Ugh! This video is trash.

We don't understand the scene changes, or the terrible special effects, how she lost so much weight since the VMAs, or the Minority Report "magic screen and gloves" rip off.

We are sliding into hates it with Christina Aguilera, which is such a shame since it took her years to win us over from Team Britney.

Well, let's face it, she was always a distant second, but now she's definitely lost some ground on our pop star faves list.

This future theme officially can ride us. Just make good music, and have some kind of point to your music videos. You aren't Diddy, you can't just perform in front of psychedelic backgrounds and call it a video.

Leave that to "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems." Right now, it's more like "Mo' Money, Tons of Problems."

That was lame. The jokes aren't all good, people.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Shameless Plug: "Not Another Web Series"

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Our friends are brills. We're not afraid to say it.

In our first ever Loves It or Hates It interview, we sat down (ish) with Not Another Web Series co-founder Aaron Matijasic, who wrote and stars in the hilarious "Clive and Jason" to pick his brain (ish) about the story-behind-the-story.

LIOHI: Of all the characters to make a web series about, why did you choose Clive Owen and Jason Statham?

AM: Um, Because Gabe looks vaguely like Clive Owen.


AM: And we started discussing the possibility of Clive Owen-based short films a couple of years ago, when we started doing impressions of Clive doing mundane things. Like, Clive Owen in the grocery store, or Clive Owen in the drive-thru at Taco Bell. (with English accent) "I'll have a number two, with a Sierra Mist". That kind of thing.

LIOHI: So, how did Jason Statham get involved?

AM: I really don't know. I think that he was the natural fit. Like, the two sort-of British badasses who are part of action movies. They kind of deliver their lines in a similar way - really deadpan and ridiculous. And we thought it would be fun to combine their outrageous sort of behavior with really mundane situations.

LIOHI: So what other wacky situations and predicaments do you see Clive and Jason getting into as the series progresses?

AM: Well, the next episode - which has been written, but not filmed yet - is where Clive and Jason haven't booked an acting gig yet, so they can't pay their rent. So, in an effort to get back at them, their landlord gives them a "Stanislavski Cocktail" which is a neurotoxin, which causes them to not be able to - this is so retarded -


AM: He slips them a neurotoxin which means that, if they act, they die. So, if they use the part of their brain that deals with acting, it causes them to die. And they have a really important Sunny Delight autition that day.


AM: So they have to figure out how to act without acting.

LIOHI: Can't wait.

Watch for more episodes of "Clive and Jason" and general hilarity from the creators of Not Another Web Series on

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fan Mail

We forgot to post this when we first got it, but hopefully it will be received as warmly by our readers as the day we first read it.

In response to our rant on Project Runway, we received the following email:

"Why are you questioning the fact that the R isnt pronounced in Korto's name? She is not american in other countries different letters are pronounced differently. I thought that comment was silly. Also her frankness, or silent nature is a characteristic of her culture. African women are poised and are mistaken for being rude. It is similar to Italian men who give each other a kiss on the is just about of their customs."

We appreciate the feed back and feel no need to comment on it. After all, we are huge proponents of the First Amendment.

Thanks for the comments and keep reading!

Time to Retire: Justin Timberlake

We own his albums.  We went to his concerts.  But someone's head is getting a little too big to fit in the room, so we're over it.

Justin Timberlake has been pissing us off for a little while, but now we're ready to throw in the towel for good.  Remember when he was on that dreadful show Punk'd?  He got so pissed that someone stole his hideous Escalade truck, and it was a total joke.

Recently, he perpetuated his douche status by retiring SexyBack at a recent charity concert.  The song came out 2 years ago.  Justin, we're sorry that SexyBack was a really popular song.  We're sorry that Prince told you "I've brought sexy back in 1984, and it hasn't left since."  We're sorry that all your fans request you play that song a lot.  Wouldn't Macy Gray like to be so lucky to have a SexyBack all her own?  Take the attention, and love it.  I would kil for a #1 single.  You don't hear Bill Ray Cyrus retiring Achy Breaky Heart, do you?

And one last point, Justin also recently announced on that he is taking a break from his solo career and wants to focus solely on producing for fellow musicians.  How gracious!  Hopefully he won't make them retire their biggest single 2 years after it came out because it annoys him.  

Get out of our dreams and our car, JT.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

HOT ASS of the week: "Britney Spears' body" by Tregg

First, can I say that after the whole "truck stop bathroom with no shoes" incident a few years ago, I am so thrilled to be able to blog about this.

Britney Spears is fucking hot as hell.  I'm currently trying to figure out how to have 2 children that I don't really want so I can eventually get into as good of shape as she's in.


I've got to hand it to Britney.  Not only are the song and video amazing and a true return to form, but she is looking amazing while doing it.

Also, here's a kudo for Womanizer leaping up from #96 to #1 on the Billboard chart, breaking the record set by T.I. the week before.  It's her second #1 single since ...Baby One More Time a decade ago.

Bring on the world tour.

What's the cool jams? Pussycat Dolls - Doll Domination album

We know, we know.  We can't believe we're saying it either.  But we are totally loving most of the new Pussycat Dolls album.

Oh, don't worry.  There are some stinkers.  Like their new song with Snoop Dogg.  But we are definitely jamming on "Magic" and the recently shipped to radio "I Hate This Part."

Obvi, "When I Grow Up" was a jam but that ship has definitely sailed much like Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."  We get it.

Thank god Nicole Scherzinger can't launch a solo career to save her life, and here's hoping she won't try that hot mess again.

Who remembers "Baby Love" ?  Stick to the Dolls, Nicole.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Ugly Shoe Contest: Steve Madden Warli

Kudos to Steve Madden for not even BOTHERING to come up with a pretty sounding name for this monstrosity.

Sick ass. It looks like something Mischa Barton would wear. And NOT Mischa Barton in reruns of the O.C. Like, Mischa Barton from InTouch magazine with the pork pie hat on.

We get it - fringe is in for fall. We may even have a coups fringy pieces in our wardrobes...but please - spare us the mocassins!

There's just no need.

Ugh. We feel dirty. And now we have that "Colors of the Wind" song stuck in our head. Hates it.

Loves it: Aldo Spana Boot

Ok, sure. They're a little "Liutenant Uhura, what's the status of those whales", but we loves these futuristic little beauties.

We didn't think we'd be big fans of a peep toe winter boot, but then we strolled into Aldo and fell immediately in love with the rich black leather, the geometrical stitching and - are those velcro straps???

Fucking TALK to us.

Available in store or online at

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hates It: People Who Think Josh Hartnett is Attractive

Look at the clown on the left in this picture.

Then look at the Barbadian goddess on the right.

No, she's not being photographed volunteering at a soup kitchen.

No, this isn't a promo shot for the new TLC series "Hey You, You're Ugly. Come here and let Rihanna give you a Makeover."

They slept together.

Wait. Is Rihanna a virgin? ...Whatever. He at least fingered her.

You get the picture.

We just don't get it. Josh Hartnett is NOT hot! Between the patchy "you-should-shave-every-five-seconds" facial hair, and the dirty Ethan Hawke teeth...we just can't.

That's all.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Woe is My Denim

We love jeans.  It's our biggest shopping indulgence, and god help us if the price of jeans rises to over $500 because we will re-fi our house to buy said jeans.

But why, oh why, do these jeans that we drop several C-Notes on to make our asses look good get holes in the crotch?  Of all places!

We know the denim is good because when we even touch jeans at American Eagle we get a rash.  Perhaps we wear them too often?  Although, we have about 7-8 pairs that we actively wear on a regular basis, and 3-4 more that make guest appearances in our daily looks.  How much designer denim does one need to sustain a hole-free wardrobe of dark, light, distressed, dressy, and casual denim?

Does anyone else have this problem?  How do we fix it?

Maybe if we weren't Italian and packing so much heat between our legs...


Just kidding.  Nicole doesn't have a penis.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

If you want 20% off, you better suck 20% of this dick

We're not sure why grocery stores have those club card membership programs, since they are free but they save you money, but we don't hates it!

After a long quest to find our favorite hair product, American Crew's Fiber, we saw it at our local Pavilions for 20% off.

Thanks, you guys!

Just short of stocking up for judgment day, we picked up plenty of our precious hair gel.  And thankfully we didn't have to perform any radical sexual favors.

God bless grocery store club card programs and their discounts.  Our hair and those who have to look at it thank you.