Friday, August 29, 2008

Since U Been Gone, for years

Where the hell is Kelly Clarkson?

At the end of the day, I guess we don't miss her that much, but let's face it. She had some good jams in her day.

"Low" from her first album came on and we got nostalgic. Not to mention that particular song always had a special place in Kelly's library for us. We're over the drama with her and Clive Davis, and so should everyone else including her label.

Where are you, Kelly?

LOVES IT: Wine for Dinner

Note: we did NOT say "Wine WITH Dinner".

There's something empowering about eschewing a meal.

Call us crazy, call us drunks, but don't call us unless you've got Pinot Grigio chilling in the fridge. Project Runway's in new eps and our skinny jeans fit again...let's DO this!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

LOVES IT: Labor Day Weekend

This three day weekend can fucking talk to us!

Anyone have any fun plans?  We'll see you in San Francisco!

This Movie is Trash: "Prom Night"

Ok, you're probably thinking, "Of course 'Prom Night' was trash."  But, seriously it's awful.  Brittany Snow should snow blow us for that performance.  She spends the whole movie being really vulnerable and weak and having bad hair on her prom night.

Jessica Stroup, a.k.a Silver from 90210 The New Class makes a bloated appearance as the first friend to die.  Major accolades for shedding the 40 pounds before attending West Beverly High.

Our favorite part of the movie had to be in the special features when they show the alternate ending.  Not to ruin it for you, like you'll see it, but the movie ends with Brittany Snow crying in the arms of the policeman after her assailant is shot by the cops.  The alternate ending has a voice-over of the dead killer saying "We will always be together."  

We will recommend turning on the cast and director commentary, which is normally annoying, but since this alternate ending is literally 20 seconds, it's bearable. The director explains the voice-over as being a way for the killer to always haunt Brittany Snow, while Brittany interrupts him saying "I am soooo glad you guys didn't use this ending."

Like it was soooo different, Britt.  Fine cinema.  

What's the cool jams? Pink - So What?

Granted, it's borderline annoying, but Loves It or Hates It is really jamming on "So What?" by Pink this week.  

The video just premiered on MTV and features Pink riding down Sunset Blvd on a lawnmower.  It openly mocks out her separation from Corey Hart, and features Hart in the clip.

Also, who can't love the line "The waiter just took my table / He gave it to Jessica Simps / Shit!"  Nice use of the sho wo, Pink.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

When reality TV upsets us


Spoiler alert:  So we watched Shear Genius tonight and our favorite person did not win.

Dee, who is sporting Tregg's haircut, took home to top prize, much to our chagrin because we were total Nicole fans.

For the record, everyone's final looks were sick ass, but Dee's coloring on her red heads was abysmal.  Nicole definitely won the mark for sleek, simple, and sophisticated.  We won't even talk about Charlie's chipotle burrito concoction on that poor 18 year old girl's head.

Favorite moment of the show:  when the final 3 discussed what they would do with their earnings if they won the top prize and the $100,000.  Nicole would give a little back to her parents who supported her so much and start a salon.  Charlie would pay off his bills, which he said was not that much (total lie) and fix his boyfriend's apparently jacked up nose.  Wait, Charlie has a boyfriend?  He's gay?  Who knew?....Everyone.

But the answer I loved the most was Dee's.  She said she was going to give her mom her dream house, since her mom has been the most important person in her life.  But she was going to give her that dream house with $50,000.  The rest would go to Dee for her salon.  Now, we watch Million Dollar listing, and $50,000 would barely get you a month in a beach rental in Malibu, let alone your dream house.  That's besides the point, though.  Dee kissed away half her money, most likely because she didn't think she'd win and wanted to sound nice to her mom.  Well, she won, and there goes half of her money.  Hates it!

Let's Do This: 90210 The New Class

After 8 long years, our childhood is coming full circle with the rebirth of the classic Gen Y show: 90210.  Sure, they inexplicably dropped the "Beverly Hills" before it, but the excitement levels remain the same.

Basically, much of our childhood was spent in front of the television watching the kids of West Beverly High have sex, fall down stairs, snort coke with $100 bills, and generally lead more amazing lives than us.  It has been too long.

Well, the original show only ended in 2000, so it's kind of like VH1 already airing "I Love the 90s" in early 2000.  We don't love the 90s yet, we just got done loving the 80s.  It's too soon.  But regardless, we love 90210, with or without the Beverly Hills tag.

To summarize, here is our Loves it and Hates it for the new show:

LOVES IT:  AnnaLynne McCord.  She stars in it, presumably as some tramp, and we saw her outside Whole Foods one day and just screamed.  Not screamed her name, just "AAAHHH!!"  in excitement.

HATES IT:  Shannen Doherty.  Although we love her and Jennie Garth in the show, we hate Shannen's messed up teeth.  She needs less 90210 and more Invisalign-0210.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

This Show is Trash: The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Where do we begin?  

The pilot of this show is a master class in heinous.  There was something thoroughly unconvincing about all of the performances, even veteran Brat Packer Molly Ringwald.

Not to mention the thought of the lead girl being sexually active at such a young age made us thoroughly jealous we were late bloomers.  And the obvious attempt at a diverse cast leaves us with every conceivable ethnicity represented, save for the American Indians but definitely including the mentally handicapped.  We are all for diversity amidst a normally white-washed television landscape, but let's break it down.  In high school, races segregate much more often than they congregate.

We begrudgingly sat through the pilot, but cared little for the cast members.  Although, kudos to John Schneider, TV's original Bo Duke, for landing yet another acting role.  Sure follows up his turn as porn kingpin on Nip/Tuck nicely.

LOVES IT: "Ross (Dress for Less)" by Nicole

Things that make me go "OOF!":

1.)Hot men in linen

2.)High-waisted skirts, and

3.)Finding these HOT ASS Michael Kors ankle boots that I've wanted FOREVER at Ross for $40!

(Nordstrom wanted $189.)

...Still cocky and slightly high from my otherworldly retail experience, I victoriously wave my blue and white receipt in the air and declare "Suck it, Nordies, This store is my God now!"

Well, for now, anyway.

HATES IT: iPhone Fanaticism

Don't get us wrong, technology is great. We send pix and flix via our cell phones. We even exclusively send voice notes to one another rather than send txt messages. But why, oh why, does anyone need a computer in their pocket?

Ok, it's cool. It's probably the coolest new thing to come on the scene in a long time. But we have Ray Ban Wayfarer eyeglasses on our head and William Rast jeans in our closet, so we're no stranger to cool. We just think a phone that can email, navigate, surf the web, locate your friends all over town like a radar, and update your facebook status on the go is a little excessive.

More important to note is the craziness surrounding the phone. Our facebook has been blown up by people waiting on their doorsteps, standing in hours long lines, and praying for their iPhone to come. We only reserve that kind of passion and dedication for Britney. It's called priorities.

We know we're probably alone on this one, but for the record, we are over the iPhone. There, we said it.

Bet You Didn't See This One Coming

Loves it or hates it is going to San Francisco for Labor Day Weekend! Be on the lookout for a pleth of pics and posts.

Truth be told - we're only going so that we can say "Golden Hates Bridge".
Thanks you guys!

This Song is Trash: Heidi Montag - Overdosin'

Jesus. We thought "Fashion" was bad. This is the kind of deluded,indulgent self-assuredness that brings us winners like William Hung. Who told this bitch she could sing?

The lyrics sound like something my 7 year old niece made up in the bathtub. Add to it the sophmoric beat and more synth than could choke a horse, this song is pure trash. We can't WAIT to see the video!

Monday, August 25, 2008

HOT ASS of the week: "Kevin Rudolf - Let it Rock" by Tregg

Thanks to my roommate for introducing me to this hot new song.  It is definitely a great song to cruise around in the summer to, as well as hearing at Hyde on a week night.  You know, because going out on the weekends...

So for your listening pleasure, here is "Let it Rock" by Kevin Rudolf featuring Lil' Wayne.  But don't worry, Lil' Wayne isn't in it for too long.  Yeah, I think he's annoying, too.

Loves it or Hates it?

There's got to be a reason for this, right?

This morning on my drive to work, we were listening to, as usual, Ryan Seacrest on KIIS FM's morning show.  He was interviewing some woman talking an awful lot about American Idol.  But we know a good drug-induced banter session when we hear it, so I knew the voice wasn't Paula Abdul.

Who is Kara DioGuardi?  Where did she come from?  And most importantly, who gives a shit?  In short, she is the newest judge on American Idol.  

We are not HUGE fans of changes on American Idol.  We barely handled the addition of instruments from last season.  We never knew so many people knew how to play somber music on acoustic guitar in this country.  Basically, Kara is going to be the new kid in school who is trying to be funny and witty with all of the kids who have went there since kindergarten, but she won't know any of the jokes or fit in nearly as well.  Thankfully, she's sorta hot.  

What do you all think about this addition of another judge?  While not the most pressing question, in general, still pretty important in the grand scheme, don't you think?

SICK ASS of the week: "Katie Homes' Jeans" by Nicole

Just when you shought she couldn't get an y un-sexier, Katie Holmes (or "Homely", as we will henceforth be calling her) has decided that The Slouch Boyfriend Jean is her new go-to.

I can't.

Why would you do this to your body? Now, I must admit, never been a gigundo fan of Homely's style to begin with, but this is too much. My CAT has fewer whiskers than these jeans. And something about the fit makes me want to bust into a medley of songs from Aladdin. me crazy.

And don't even get me started on those shoes!

Ugh - it's almost like she's making an EFFORT to make her body appear as bizarre as possible. Will someone please teach this poor little misguided boygirl about PROPORTION?? Scoop neck long sleeve tee, low rise blouson jean...cropped(!) with a man-belt, and strappy sandals?!?!? And what's with the shoulder bag? Has she got a Minolta camera in there? When did Homely become a Japanese tourist?

Sick ass!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

LOVES IT: Diddy Riese

My college friend Abby came to visit for the weekend, and I decided a crucial part of seeing the sights of the city would include the famous Diddy Riese in Westwood.

...basically, I was craving an ice cream cookie sandwich like an addict to heroin.  

After we stood the long line formed outside that wrapped around the block, I savored in a delicious, albeit standard issue, chocolate chip cookie sandwich with vanilla ice cream.  Abby got chocolate chip with walnuts, which I hate, but since this is a LOVES IT post, I will go no further.

God bless you, Diddy Riese.  The caloric shit show I endured to savor your tasty treats was well worth it.  Liquid dinner tonight to compensate, here I come.

Friday, August 22, 2008

This Video is Trash: The Veronicas - Take Me on the Floor

Dear Lord in heaven. Shame of shames. This song is HOT. The vid is NOT.

Where did we go wrong?

We can't decide which is worse: the deadstock neon tubes left over from the birth of VH1, the recycled Robert Palmer choreography, or the fact that all of the clothes seem to be from Wet Seal.

Oh, well. At least their hair looks hot.

This Song is Trash: Kelly Rowland - Work

Now, we have to hand it to the defacto members of Destiny's Child, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams. Sure, they aren't as talented as Beyonce. Sure, Beyonce might have whipped them into submission during their tenure as a group. But, by god, you can't hold them down from having solo careers. Granted, Beyonce is still the current queen of R&B, and we're still pointing "To the left, to the left," but Kelly and Michelle are not going quietly.

Take, for example, Kelly Rowland's new song. All credit to her, because we don't have a song on the radio, but let's be honest. That song is trash!

The beginning intro and chorus are verging on amelodic, and her thin voice drives our ears to bleed. We'll take our "Independent Women" any day.


Ugh. Crocs. Shoot us.
Where do we even begin with these hideous things?

We can only assume they were originally invented for old ladies with green thumbs and back problems. Why would you wear these things in public?!?!? They don't even make your feet look cute!

New game: Croc Spotting. Bring your digital camera and your bestie to a public place (preferably a tourist-heavy locaysh) and take pictures of every pair of Crocs you see.
Try not to be blinded by the fug.

On a recent trip to Seattle, we totaled 55 individual offenders at the Space Needle. Those numbers are shocking! ...And we didn't even make it into the gift shop - we were too nauseous...and NOT from the heights.

Please, folks - leave the Crocs in the garden. You won't have your picture snapped by a stranger, and we'll get to keep our lunch down.

Hey, look at that - everyone wins!