"Wow, that Navid's girlfriend is such a skank" or "WHAT THE HELL AM I WATCHING??" by Nicole

I think I might like bad TV.

I'm seeing the alternatives flash before me on the cable guide.

Bones. The Biggest Loser. The Office. Ace of Cakes.

As I sit there, scraping the inside of a greek yogurt container (maybe with my finger - whatever) I marvel at all the options that lie before me. Some nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes. Some, even winners.

Who is my winner? Friggin' 90210 The New Class. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not even invested in these characters - I've missed like 30 episodes! I don't even like their names! Silver? Who's named Silver? (Yes I know, it's her last name. Don't interrupt.)

The story is ludicrous and the acting is - ooooooooh - I wonder where she got that top...

And there it is. The clothes. I watch these stupid goddamn shows because the clothes are cute. I am officially shallow.

But hey, at least I'm self aware.

Gucci, Chanel, Louboutin, that's how they get us! That's how 90210 and Melrose Place and The City and those damn Kardashians trick us into watching their stupid shows. I know it! They're manipulators, all of them!

But not Gossip Girl. That show is brilliant.