We Kill Us

We can't lie. We crack ourselves up. We've also taken to writing down the hilarious things we say.

...Is that shallow? Enjoy.

Tregg: "I saw these hot ass boots somewhere - I forget where - and I was like "I bet Spoo would fucking loves it."

Nicole: "Hot ass."

Tregg: Yeah, they were black leather with these straps up to the ankle and a peep toe and the straps were velcro, and they were, like, grey or something."

Nicole: "Wait...the ones I blogged about?"

Tregg: "...Oh, THAT'S where I saw them."

Nicole: "You fucking idiot."

Tregg: "Do you think it's ok if we bought the Jonas Brothers CD?"

Nicole: "That depends. How old are we?"

Tregg: "Almost mid-twenties."

Nicole: "...No."

::AIM at Work::

Nicole: "Ugh. 12 mins til I take my break. What can we do for 12 minutes?"

Tregg: "Hmm...........what song can we replace the word "hates" in a lot and type it back and forth to each other?"

Tregg: "Elliott told me cottage cheese helps your muscles not to deteriorate if you eat it before you go to bed."

Nicole: "Loves it. ...Wait. Who the fuck is Elliot?"

Tregg: "So, "Piece of Me" is nominated for a VMA."

Nicole: "What?!"

Tregg: "I know. That video was trash."

::outside Tregg's apartment to pick him up::

Nicole: "Hey, we're outside."

Tregg: "Ok, I'll be right down. Are you guys bringing real clothes or just your bathing suits?"

Nicole: "Well I have a cardigan and a little skirt on over mine, and Matj is wearing a polo and his ugly board shorts. ...Oh, I gotta go, he's giving me a look."

Tregg: "Have you seen the Disturbia video?"

Nicole: "No. Is it hot ass or sick ass?"

Tregg: "It's hot ass in a sick ass way."

(After watching an Elephant paint a self-portrait on YouTube)

Tregg: "How does he know what he looks like?"

Nicole: "He's around other elephants, you retard!"

Tregg: "Oh my God. Forget I said that."

Nicole: "Hey, that guy's is cute."

Tregg: "Yeah. We hooked up a few times. He has this amazing place in Sunset Plaza."

Nicole: "Hot ASS!"

Tregg: "Yeah. I'd fuck him for the real estate alone."

Nicole: "Ugh, Spoo, I totally pigged on ice cream last night."

Tregg: "Spooey! That's not on the Hills Duff Diet Plan!"

Nicole: "Whatever! I was exasperated. ...It was exasper-eating."

Tregg: "Yay, PUNS!!"

Nicole: "Look at us! We should make babies."

Tregg: "But we both hate kids."

Nicole: "...oh."

::Morning after a party during which Tregg vomited::

Nicole: "How you feeling today, Spoo?

Tregg: "Like a million bucks, actually."

Nicole: "You are so lucky you puked up those chips we ate."

Tregg: "I know, right?!"

Nicole: "Jealous."